Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
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