Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
