i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Randomize