you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
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All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
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I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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