I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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