Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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