Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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