I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
We are two peas in an std pod
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
