evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
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