sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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