there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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