i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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