The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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