oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
