My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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