You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
