There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
