Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
