no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
