You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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