Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
