Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
