do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
