hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
