I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
You have to summon your inner elephant
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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