Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
