He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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