Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I can't put those talents on a resume
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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