just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
