Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
