Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
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