It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I intend to get homeless drunk
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
God gave him joint rollers for hands
you inspire me to be a worse person
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize