bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
