Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
