It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
