honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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