Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I have already put on my inside pants.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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