Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
