guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
