He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
