I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
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