dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
