needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I want her autograph on my taint
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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