didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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