I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
