have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
