we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
