super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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