I accidentally burped into my bong.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
