Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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