CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
