I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
