So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize