Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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