i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
