I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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