Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
